What's Holding You Back

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As a first-time blogger launching a new website, I find myself searching for something like a tagline. A phrase or few words that represent my brand, values, and what I deliver. As a part of my preparation, I begin to look back at my life. My influences, experiences, the values I have developed and why I developed them. And I started to look at my challenges, digging in to each one. I know that I cannot help others understand themselves without continuously spending time looking inward. Putting my oxygen mask on first.

I’ve been doing this work for a while and over the course of my years of coaching, I have told the same story time and time again. It goes a little like this. When I was 5 years old, I used to hide in a closet when people came to visit because I was so shy, I was afraid to look them in the eyes and talk to them. I spent elementary, middle and high school doing quiet things like reading, playing music, studying, hanging out with my close-knit group of friends. I started college the same way, studying, working, mostly keeping to myself. One day after a bad break up, I decided to go for a run. One run turned to 2 turned to a lifetime passion and 10 years of competitive distance running. While I loved the competition, running gave me so much more. Running gave me belonging, I started to eat better, sleep better, drink less, and feel more and more confident. And inside my confidence I found my voice. With my newfound voice, I started seeking out leadership positions.

With years of telling this story, when I started work on launching my blog and website, I assumed my tagline would be finding your voice. It had been my story. I told it hundreds of times and it fit. But as I dug deeper, I started to wonder HOW did I find my voice? What did I do to find it? What were the steps between starting to run and starting to take leadership positions?

In the curiosity and in the digging deep I realized that in order to be willing to put myself out there to get involved in leadership, I had started to identify some of the things that had been stopping me. Beliefs about myself, my place in the world, unpacking a long-held belief that I didn’t matter enough to be heard. I started to remember how I had been the one holding myself back. My constant comparison of myself to others, my need and desire for approval of others. All invisible barriers that had stood between me and what I wanted to be doing. As I started to identify and expose these beliefs, I looked at myself in the mirror, and faced them one by one. And then I had a choice to break through them.

“…I had started to identify some of the things that had been stopping me. Beliefs about myself, my place in the world, unpacking a long-held belief that I didn’t matter enough to be heard.”

Break through what’s holding you back. When I was explaining what I do, someone stopped me when I said, “I help leaders break through what’s holding them back.” She asked me, “what does that mean?” It means that we all have invisible barriers, things that stop us from being our best selves and by identifying them and breaking through them, we have the opportunity to take our performance to another level. I am passionate about helping leaders lean into their strengths and do the tough work of identifying and breaking through invisible barriers.

I explained that over the course of my coaching I have found myself avoiding this phrase “break through what’s holding you back” noticing that people seem to cringe when I say it. As if I am saying there is something wrong with them, that it is somehow negative to say “things are holding you back”.

But the truth is:

Identifying and breaking through our invisible barriers is an opportunity for each of us to get unstuck and level up. Most of us continue to repeat patterns we have developed and absent introspection or someone pointing out our patterns, we tend to repeat, repeat, repeat. And in the repeat, repeat, repeat we continue to feel stuck, like we’re not getting to the next level, or that we’re being misunderstood. Working through our invisible barriers, or “blind spots”, is an enormous opportunity for growth.
No one is immune from invisible barriers. They are like shadows that follow us wherever we go until we expose them, face them, and break through them. No matter who I’ve ever worked with, read about, or listened to, every leader and human has invisible barriers and blind spots. It takes courage to pause to identify them, face them, break through them and develop tools to manage them.
Working through them is a courageous choice. In order to perform at your best, you must be willing to do the work to identify, face, break through and find tools to manage what is stopping you. I don’t take this for granted and appreciate the courage it takes to make this choice.
As a coach I am committed to sitting by your side to guide you through the process. And I will provide you with tools to get you to the other side.
The benefits of doing the hard work outweigh the challenges. Being on the other side is freedom. Freedom from the constraints of long held beliefs that no longer serve us.

As I reflect on my tagline options, I am choosing “ break though what’s holding you back”. I am passionate about sharing my lessons learned to help leaders break through their personal barriers so they can perform and lead at their best. I ultimately believe people want to be and do their best and breaking though what stops us allows us to do just that.

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